| 1994 my mother was diagnosed with
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| | yearold or a five year old and it makes
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| Alzheimers Disease.
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| | me feel goodto know that no matter what
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| At that time she had been demonstrating
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| | age (stage) she is today
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| memory deficits for at least two years.
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| | I will care for her and love her as she
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| My career had always been in the field of
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| | is.
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| Geriatrics, the care of the elderly. I
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| | Behavioral Issues: Behavior is not
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| had worked with countless families in
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| | intentional in Dementia.
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| caring for their elder family members at
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| | SOLUTIONS:
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| home, in Assisted Living Facilties and in
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| | Always look to the basics: hungry,
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| Nursing Homes.
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| | thirsty,cold, toileting needs. Pain-80%
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| My least favorite patient type was the
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| | of the frail elderly have chronic pain
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| Dementiapatient. I know now that why I
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| | that goes untreated.
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| felt that way wasbecause I had never
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| | Keep your phrases short and simple,"do
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| really walked in the shoesof the dementia
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| | you want apple juice or orange juice?"
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| patient.
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| | Ask questions requiring a yes/no
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| In caring for my mother I have come to
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| | response. Allow LOTS of time for a
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| appreciate her uniqueness. Watching her
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| | response.
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| struggle with her losses and struggling
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| | Allow choices as often as possible.
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| myself to come up with ideas to keep her
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| | Choices must be appropriate to their
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| moving and feeling good about herself has
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| | level.
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| really helped me to see dementia through
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| | We do not ask the three year old if he
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| new eyes.
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| | wants to go to bed. We take him to bed.
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| It is like caring for a child in reverse
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| | Choices like, "Would you like to wear
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| order. With a child we wait with
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| | blue or yellow today?" "Would you like
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| anticipation as they grow through new
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| | tomato soup or chicken noodle soup?"
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| stages. We watch for them to sit up, then
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| | These are an example of stage appropriate
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| take their first steps, potty train,
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| | choice I would give my mother.
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| talk, ride their first bike, and on and
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| | Avoid statements such as, "Do you want to
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| on.
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| | eat?" "Do you need to go to the
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| Well, with aging and dementia, it really
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| | bathroom?" "Are you ready for your
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| is thesame process in reverse. Watch
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| | shower?" Those are given tasks not
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| carefully for the subtle changes (losses)
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| | options.
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| and then make the necessary adjustments
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| | Do not ask if they want to go to the
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| in the environment and in ourselves.
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| | doctor, hairdresser,etc. Just take them.
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| For most elderly, as age advances so does
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| | Allow plenty of time for appointments.
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| thecollecting of chronic conditions.
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| | Dementia patients will never move on your
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| Chronic Conditions:to name a few
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| | time table. Lots of extra time must
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| arthritis, heart disease, high blood
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| | beallotted to get ready.
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| pressure, diabetes, poor vision, reduced
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| | Dementia patients do much better with a
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| hearing,reduced hearing and reduced
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| | fixed routine (just like your kids.)
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| muscle strength.
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| | Regular meal and snack times. (do not
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| Chronic diseases must be managed and it
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| | forget fluids.) Regular shower time at
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| takeswillingness on the part of the elder
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| | their best time of the day. Regular
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| and often thefamily, to learn about the
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| | bedtime. Avoid mentioning an appointment
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| disease, treatmentand limitations.
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| | ahead of time. Some people will stress on
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| Physical Changes :
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| | that and ask repeated questions.
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| Aging happens over time, gradually over
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| | Use distraction to change a behavior. My
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| years.
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| | mother has a habit of clapping her hands
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| Abilities decline and needs increase.
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| | loudly and repeatedly if she is not busy
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| The ability to clean house, do the
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| | with somethng. Sometimes just asking her
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| laundry,do yard work, grocery shop,
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| | a question breaks the pattern. At other
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| participate in hobbies, entertain in the
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| | times having her fold clothes, play
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| home, prepare fancy meals, handle
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| | cards, look through a magazine, or
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| finances,and to drive.
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| | singing a song will also break the
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| Physical changes often progress to
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| | pattern.Activities are a must. Some
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| personal care deficits fear of falling in
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| | communities have a senior center with
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| the shower, they stop showering,walking
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| | activites or adult day care centers that
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| distances that they were able to handle
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| | often do a great job with activities.
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| previously, toileting themseves without
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| | Find activities that your parent
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| accidents, stop going out especially for
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| | enjoys,walks, folding laundry, washing
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| social events.
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| | dishes, playing cards,etc. Be creative.
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| A variety of reasons will often emerge if
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| | "Remember Times" I learned all sorts of
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| asked why they stopped doing something.
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| | family history and fun stuff when my
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| Rarely will the whole truth be told.
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| | mother was inher earlier years of
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| Denial is very strong due to the fear of
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| | dementia. We would do "remember time."
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| being dependent on others and fear of
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| | We would talk about family, how she meet
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| being remove from their home. As the
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| | my father, their first date, hobbies,
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| adult children we are obligated to watch
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| | jobs, vacations, WWII, the Depression
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| carefully for these changes in our
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| | era, etc. Today, my mother is in her 12th
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| parents.
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| | year of Alzheimer's and she does not
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| Cognitive Changes:
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| | remember the past. Now she likes us to
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| When it comes to cognitive changes things
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| | tell her the family stories.
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| do not get any easier. Approximatly 50%
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| | THINGS TO AVOID
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| of 85 year old have dementia. Their
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| | Do not try to reason with the dementia
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| symptoms usually have been present a few
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| | person. They are unable to reason. Do not
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| years before diagnosis. Please read that
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| | take their behavior personally. They are
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| again, 50% of 85 year olds have dementia.
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| | not doing it to you, they are just doing
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| So many family members ignore the
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| | it. Do not confront or correct. Leave
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| symptoms (they also suffer from denial)
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| | the room if you have too.
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| Your elder usually needs help long before
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| | Do not argue. You are arguing to a blank
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| he or she is getting the necessary
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| | wall!
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| support.
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| | Do not talk about your parent in front of
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| Elders with dementia have often lost the
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| | them.
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| abilityto reason, to react logically or
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| | Do not ask them or expect them to have
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| correctly interprettheir surroundings.
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| | recent memory.
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| Often unhealthy or irrational decisions
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| | Statements like, "I just answered that
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| are made frequently related to safety and
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| | question"or, "don't you remember?
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| medications.
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| | Remember the "blank wall"!
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| One of the common things I hear is, "She
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| | Remember, between you and your parent,
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| is not my mother anymore" or "I do not
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| | YOU are the one that has to change,
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| know this person." You have to get past
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| | accept, grow, and love them through to
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| that to be helpful to your parent.
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| | the end.
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| I am sure you had times in your child
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| | When all is said and done you will never
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| raising yearswhere you felt the same, the
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| | regretthis time spent caring for your
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| terrible two's,teenyears, college
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| | elder. Allow this time to be as fun as
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| years,or even into the adult years,where
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| | possible-find your humor and use it in
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| you said to youself," I do not know this
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| | the daily activities of caregiving. And
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| person anymore."
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| | yes, it is a very difficult job caring
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| It is a process of accepting your
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| | for your parent.
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| children at thestage they are at, knowing
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| | Arm yourself with support groups and
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| that you are doing your best. Well, it is
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| | learn all you can about your parent's
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| not any different with your parent. Your
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| | dementia. Do not become the " Lone
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| parent will always be your parent. They
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| | Ranger". Rreach out, ask for help, hire a
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| just act differently as they become more
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| | babysitter, etc. Just like you did for
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| frail, more vulnerable, and child like.
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| | your kids, you can do this.
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| I often look at my mother and see a three
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