Mindfulness and Addiction

Once we observe our inner senses, and attain thisI invite you to try this experiment yourself. The next
perspective, we see the world and ourselves verytime your consciousness is arrested by a strong
differently. Addictions to substances, relationships, ordesire, particularly one you're unlikely to fulfill, take a
thought patterns vanish, as we reidentify ourselvesmoment to turn your attention inward. Notice the
correctly, not as our mind, with all its erratic andexact nature of the feeling. Notice how your thought
inconsistent thoughts, but as our essence, our self,process wants to draw you back into the same set
our soul, our pure consciousness.of questions and judgments it has always repeated
There's a fairly recent story from my life that I'veevery time you've been in the same situation. Notice,
come to call the "Angela's butt story." It's aas you try to quiet your mind, how strongly it's pulled
controversial tale, and its main character still doesn'tback to the object of your desire and to thoughts
understand the remarkable significance of thelike "Why can't I have that? What's wrong with me?
experience as it applies to my life and attitudes.It's not fair. Boy, I really want that ..."
As a typically shallow person of my gender, IKeep your attention upon the inner sensations.
happened to take notice of a certain physicalForget, as best you can, the trigger, the object of
attribute of this female friend. It started innocentlyyour desire and obsession, and become aware of
and unintentionally as I glimpsed her bending over mywhat's going on inside of you. Here is what you'll
colleague's desk while they spoke. At the time, shenotice.
was wearing a pair of burgundy velvet pants that fitAs you quiet your mind and study your sensations,
like a glove. Inadvertently, I found myself obsessingyou'll feel pain. Somewhere within you will be an ache,
about her anatomical perfection in that particulara sharpness, something. As you continue to allow
region. From there my mind began to wander intoyour attention to focus on the sensation, it will begin
areas better left unexplored, and this friend becameto change. It will shift, perhaps, to another part of
an object of my lustful fantasies.your body. Or it will spread out. Or maybe it will start
As a student of consciousness, it's my commitmentto throb or tingle. Your mind will likely perceive this as
to witness all thoughts and feelings that commanda sign of danger and will try to draw you out of your
my attention and to become aware when my mind isbody and back into the inquiry. But fight that urge.
trapped by a particular thought loop. This obsessionStay with the feelings. They won't harm you, and, if
with Angela's derrière required some explorationyou wait long enough, they will disappear.
on my part.This process of studying our sensation is how we
I decided to dedicate the better half of a road tripovercome addictions. We weather the storm, but it's
alone not to replaying the desired imagery but tonot just that. We also bring awareness and
noticing the thoughts and feelings of lust the imageryequanimity to the process. That feeling which used to
had evoked.own us and direct our thoughts is now just a
As I sat quietly, calming my mind and directing myharmless, passing set of sensations. We experience
attention inward, I found that my body hurt. Therefreedom from our addictions, and we find that feeling
was tightness in my chest, heaviness in my throat,of freedom is far superior to any imagined happiness
and an ache in my belly. My thoughts revolvedthat we might experience as a result of getting the
around the degree to which I wanted something Iobject of our desire.
couldn't have. Then my thoughts spun off, remindingMy sense of incompleteness, and the square yard of
me of all my feelings of inadequacy as result of "notflesh that caused it were part of a complex program,
getting the girl."a belief structure, which I unwittingly imbibed as a
Further reflection brought to light the recognition thatchild or adolescent, kept in place by my subservience
this was the set of thoughts and feelings that I'dto my own feelings. In essence, it was hypnotized
experienced all my life from focusing on the physicalinto me, either by others or by myself. As long as I
desirability of women. Yet, I continued to seek outallowed the script to keep playing, I would remain
this experience. Why?forever hypnotized. Every time I would feel the
Could it be that I was suffering under the effect offeelings, I'd think the thoughts which would
an addiction? Could it be that part of the quality ofperpetuate the feelings which would enhance the
addiction is its power to create a sense ofthoughts, etcetera, etcetera ... By choosing
incompleteness, and then propose a solution, theobservation of my inner senses and allowing any
completion of which might make us feel satisfied?waves to pass without reaction, I unhypnotized
I've shared this realization with many people, and I'vemyself, and I gained a measure of freedom.
invited them to notice what their longings really feelOnce we've begun to use these tools, and to attain
like. Inevitably, everyone tells me that they discoverthis perspective, we see the world and ourselves
the same thing. Whether they're longing for love,very differently. Addictions to substances,
sex, a relationship, or a new pair of Banana Republicrelationships, or thought patterns vanish, as we
jeans, they all find that the focus on that thing hasreidentify ourselves correctly, not as our mind, with
an addictive, obsessive, painful quality ... yet theyall its erratic and inconsistent thoughts, but as our
can't seem to stop thinking about it.essence, our self, our soul, our pure consciousness.