| Many of you may look at my title and wonder if I | | | | example, I love shopping and last week I really |
| have 'lost my marbles.' Let me explain. First let me | | | | enjoyed buying a black skirt for fall. It was a small |
| quote from a wonderful article that was passed | | | | treat but it was getting back to business as usual |
| around on the web by Clarissa Pinkola Estes, Ph.D. | | | | and felt great!Let's enter the fourth portal: Making |
| entitled: Healing From Terrorism Sickness. She states: | | | | Ourselves the Hero or Heroine of Our Own Lives. Ah, |
| "The main goal of terrorism is 'intentional trauma' to | | | | this is such an essential step. And yet what does |
| the living. The concept of doing ongoing psychic injury | | | | stress and terror do? They can make us feel |
| to thousands and millions 'all at the same time' is an | | | | meaningless, without purpose, again emotionally |
| important tactic of terrorists ... innocent persons | | | | flattened. What is good mental health? It |
| becoming afraid of life ... (this) hurts the human spirit | | | | encompasses, for sure, a sense that my life not only |
| and heart."Clarissa then shares many ways to fight | | | | has meaning but also was worth it. I not only came |
| this madness including refusing to dwell on what | | | | through difficulties, but the adventure was well worth |
| physically depletes us of hope; dwelling in what | | | | it! I took the roller coaster ride of a lifetime and |
| strengthens us; resting; refusing to think that one is | | | | came out the winner.Often times after a shocking |
| less able than prior to the assault, and not stopping | | | | event we don't know what role to play or feel |
| pleasures that are good for you.I don't know if | | | | extraneous to what is going on at 'ground zero'. |
| Clarissa realized that her suggestions fit perfectly into | | | | These are normal feelings and we must realize that |
| THE ENCHANTED SELF's Seven Portals to | | | | each of us has a unique role and purpose in life that |
| Enchantment, but they do! Let's go through these | | | | no one else can fill.Think about the story of your life. |
| gateways and see how they preserve us from | | | | How did you get this far? How did your background |
| disenchantment and even worse -- terror.The first | | | | end up working for you? What have been some of |
| gateway is the Gateway of Self-Esteem. When | | | | the highlights of your life? Look for the heroic even |
| terror strikes it is very common to feel vulnerable, of | | | | on a very small scale. I can guarantee that you will |
| little importance and perhaps even valueless. This is | | | | have plenty of opportunities to still use your unique |
| exactly the opposite of how we need to feel for | | | | strengths and talents.I was the little girl who kept a |
| good mental health. To function at my best I need | | | | secret Girl Scout diary with tons of misspelled words! |
| to know on a daily basis that I am 'special'. I have | | | | I wrote every night not knowing exactly why and |
| traits, strengths and abilities that all come together, | | | | here I am now with a chance to write to you via the |
| not only to help me lead a life of meaning, but help | | | | Internet. All that practice was part of my story. You |
| me feel proud and sure of myself. You do too! What | | | | have yours and never forget it!Could you guess that |
| are some of your strengths and/or coping skills? | | | | the fifth portal is Belonging to Tribes, or |
| Work with me as you read this and list some. It will | | | | communities? Often after a terrorist attack people |
| be beneficial as we come out of this terror! Perhaps | | | | are afraid to go out, join others, go about their |
| you have stamina, compassion, and an ability to | | | | business. This is exactly what the terrorists want and |
| reinvent yourself. Perhaps you are a good at cheering | | | | it interferes completely with our human needs to |
| others up or great at making fudge!All of these and | | | | belong, to share, and to be part of something. What |
| thousands more qualify as pluses in living!The second | | | | are some of your tribes special to you? I hope you |
| gateway is Meeting Our Needs. Again, when terror or | | | | make every effort to get out and stay connected |
| severe stress hits we often stop doing what is good | | | | to them. For me, one of my first steps was going to |
| for ourselves. We feel weak and may let go of a | | | | a local rally and crying, singing, holding hands with |
| growth experience or learning a new skill that is good | | | | strangers and donating goods with lots of others.The |
| for us. Even after the acute weakness passes we | | | | sixth portal is Finding Mentors. When we are |
| may feel unsure or no longer committed to our own | | | | attacked, it is our hope and optimism that is often |
| goals for growth and development. Again, this is | | | | most attacked and in essence our future. What we |
| exactly the opposite of what is needed for good | | | | need most is to get that back. This is where |
| mental health. Did you let anything go as a result of | | | | mentors help so much. We need to find positive |
| September 11th? You mightwant to make a note | | | | mentors everywhere -- the heroes on television, |
| about it and also a new start up date.I did. I didn't do | | | | friends and positive e-letters on the web, loved ones, |
| my television show in NYC that month, as we were | | | | good books, fine music and even animals that teach |
| asked not to come into the city and that was a big | | | | us so much about love and connection. Don't laugh, |
| loss for me. I really enjoy teaching the public about | | | | but laughter is a mentor of sorts. Laughing takes us |
| positive thinking via television. My show, Recipes for | | | | back to our positive center by teaching us how good |
| Enchantment, not only meets many of my needs but | | | | it feels to feel good! Who are some of your |
| it stretches me and makes me grow further. Yes, I | | | | mentors?The last portal is the Gateway of Positive |
| look forward to doing the show this month on the | | | | Action. Often, when terror strikes we feel helpless |
| 17th.The third portal to Enchantment is Recognizing | | | | and in paralysis. Good mental health requires that we |
| Pleasure and Joy. It is very normal after a shock, in | | | | move beyond these feelings. Inactivity is not good |
| this case terrorism, to feel not only emotionally | | | | for us. Positive action is the best antidote to mental |
| flattened, but unable to experience joy. In fact, often | | | | 'poison.'Why? Because we not only help ourselves but |
| the person doesn't feel entitled to laughter, a good | | | | others in the process. We start the chain reaction |
| time, etc. For some it is guilt, for others sorrow. | | | | that eventually sends a message that we will not be |
| Again, this is exactly the opposite of what we need | | | | swamped by darkness. Remember how much |
| for good mental health.We are not only entitled to | | | | darkness one little candle can get rid of? We are |
| live lives of joy and happiness, we need too! Does | | | | each potentially thousands of candles. What are |
| this mean everything goes right? Absolutely not. | | | | some positive actions you can take over the next |
| What it does mean is that we permit ourselves to | | | | few weeks? Jot them down. These actions can feel |
| maintain an attitude that encourages the capacity to | | | | good to do and also be good for you as well as |
| experience happiness and joy as often as possible. | | | | others. For me, one of my positive actions is that I |
| No one has a right to take that away from us! Now | | | | am writing to you and I hope that fits the above |
| is the time to fight back! What is fun for you? What | | | | definition. I enjoy writing to you! I look forward to |
| do you enjoy? What gives you pleasure? Write some | | | | responses from you and most importantly I hope my |
| of these things down and plan on doing at least | | | | message has been good for you! |
| three of them within a couple of weeks. For | | | | |